He had just turned 18 when he marched down and answered his draft call to the Army, in February 1945. He had 4 months left until high school graduation. His father marched right down after him and unenlisted him so he could complete high school. Those being more reasonable times, he was able to accomplish this with no trouble.
Immediately after high school graduation, he re-enlisted and went off to boot camp. Boot camp proved to be a very difficult time, as this devout young man was taunted and bullied for his religious beliefs and practices. There was most likely more to it, as he was to find out many, many years later.
He earned the rank of Corporal and was assigned the position of Clerk Typist in the Army Ground Force Liaison Office. He had dreamed of becoming a pilot, but color-blindness grounded him. As a conscientious objector, he was never assigned to combat duty, and because the war ended soon after he enlisted, he never went overseas.
His Commanding Officer said something to him, that he remembers to this day, and that he never understood until 60 years later. The officer said, "I'd like to promote you, but I just don't understand you."
These words haunted him throughout his life, as it seemed that so many people just didn't understand him. He didn't know why, and spent much of his life confused about this, and blaming himself for not measuring up.
He married - a beautiful young lady that he met while on duty at Fort Dix, NJ - and they had four children and five grandchildren. When he was 80 years old, one of his grandsons was diagnosed with an autism spectrum condition - Asperger Syndrome.
As he listened to the symptoms of the condition being read aloud, he remarked, "What are you reading? You are talking about ME!" After much investigation and consulting with professionals, it was determined that he did, indeed, live with an autism spectrum condition.
At 80 years of age, this special guy finally had some answers that helped him make sense of years and years of difficulty. This new lense changed so much for him. It helped his wife understand some of the emotional difficulties she had faced in their relationship, and so, for the final two years of her life, she could truly feel the full force of his love for her, in ways she hadn't been able to completely appreciate before. And it helped him understand that it wasn't a flaw in himself that caused all those problems for all those years - it was a difference - one that was just hard for others to understand, but that didn't make him bad or wrong or broken.
So, this Veteran's Day, I'm thankful for my Dad, and I'm thankful for the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Conditions that is helping people around the world make sense of their differences. I'm also so grateful for the work of autistic advocates who work tirelessly to make the world a better place for those of us on the autism spectrum.
Sara Gardner, diagnosed Autism Spectrum Condition at age 41
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